ITAA's Warning.

Today I just had my second session. After 2 British people - both man and woman - has their last say, I found myself crying a bit. After that. Mom. And I still got PILES of things to do, since my parents just initiated the whole moving process...

But cut to the chase - It's the word toxicity that made me jump back to this blog. It's like this:

＜Oliver-Ssam (올리버쌤.) 링크: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwtH7WIXsVs>

Let's say I want to watch more of that channel's ⬆️ show. Maybe for good 15 minutes or so, then I'm off - then that's not a problem at all for most modern people. I know. You might rather find yourself feeling rather REFRESHED - and that's what social media does - of which I call it (sort of corny & embarrassing to speak it out loud for some reason) "The LaLa-Land Effect" - since it's gonna take you AWAY from circumstances IRL that you don't want and - at least temporarily - have you experience a simulation of the place just completely SOMEWHERE OFFPLACE-ELSE.

And the problem begins when that 15-minute of "healthy dose" of SNS starts to double, and then multiply, until some long hours of time that one loses track of... Which is what I'm doing to myself right now.

..And thanks to this, 'advancement of technology' - it's as if the practice of making home-video at any (ahem) specifically middle class+ income households alone had gone up a notch. ...Of which I am not sure would be the best way to put it. Just know that this is coming out from my 30-year-old brain, (33 year to be exact), which was deceiving ways to beat my own screen craving after my 2nd ITAA (*https://internetaddictsanonymous.org/) noon session was over.

......

<James Gould (Left), my stepdad's brother, and my stepdad to the right.>

<My mom is in the middle.>

My parents certainly did not grow up in the Gen-Z led, "happy generation" and neither did I to be exact. While I am technically and generationally closer to the latter.

My mom and my stepdad's brother almost grew up in the same period however. One survived, one did not. My mom, while likely struggling from her familial trauma and financial burden bestowed upon herself, chose to move to U.S. with my then-millitary stepdad and chose happiness for herself no matter what. ...Even though it was her own daughter, me, who was against the whole scheme/fiasco from her kid years and am still arguing over her plans, like her new “retirement” plan for an RV business, which is what all this moving is about right at this moment. (*I had to talk with not only with Ruth, NDVH/National Domestic Violence Hotline's AI - https://ruth.thehotline.org/ - but also ChatGPT just to ground myself to my situation esp. regarding my relationship with my parents. Perhaps I'll touch upon that sometime)

Mr. James, who should've been my uncle if he was alive, however, as my stepdad has told - died of drug addiction. End of story. 

Nearly anything about the man's history is hidden in virtual obscurity by now, except for the fact that he was one of the 3 men who've been to military in his family including his own dad and his brother, who is now my stepdad.

...So, I know. Not the most perfect way to reveal family history (nor secrets thereof), but it just came to my mind I'd rather go back to do my laundry and clean the house after making this post.

I don't know why... Just a food for thought for anyone who sees this, I guess.